When someone is in recovery, there are a lot of things that come with that. Many times someone identifies with recovery because they wish to see a change in their lives and realize that how things have been happing are either no longer beneficial to their wellbeing or never has been. When the realization that the action you have been so used to making you feel better is actually a negative coping skill, something clicks. This is how it was with me. I have been “duel diagnosis” for a long time, this means I’ve struggled with mental illness and drug abuse. After many hospitalizations I realized that something had to give, I couldn’t live like this anymore and with that came my introduction to the journey of not only peer led recovery but recovery as a whole.
A good friend of mine who I had met on this path told me I had to change everything about my life and find a new routine. “There is a reason the word “Spiritual” has the word “Ritual” in it” he said. I had found beauty in boring, the same thing everyday. I got into a pattern but there was still something missing. In my youth I had always felt closest to God when I was either listing to music, playing my guitar or bass, writing poetry, reading Kahlil Gibran, or sewing. It was almost as if I forgot those things made me feel the way I always knew them to, and I only remembered after one of my peers shared their poetry with me. They pushed my to write more, they encouraged me to play more, they always wanted to hear what I had to create
My poems turned to songs and soon I was ready to show others too what I was creating. I started frequenting open mics where I met other musicians and poets. Some of these people I’d meet at these places are the most important people in my life and I owe it all to this novel pathway to recovery. I realized there was no “tried and true” way to recovery and that it is all based off of inner joy and meeting people who you can not only share similar experiences or interests with but also how you pour your soul into a piece of art. I found that there needs to be a foundation to recovery and once this is achieved there is a lot of space in this new life for growth. I had to decide what to do with this wiggle room in such a way that I could grow and be the person I always knew I could be. I chose the creative route, I chose life, I chose joy, I chose love, and I chose to grow.